


Dirty Little Secret

by meleonon



Series: Bosselot Week 2016 [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: #Bosselotweek16, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8521408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meleonon/pseuds/meleonon
Summary: Staring at his old’s friends back as he stepped through the door, Snake listened to the clinking of Ocelot’s spurs echo down the hall. Every day, the Russian would come visit Snake and he honestly enjoyed the ability to have the other man to himself. He really did like Ocelot, could always count on him to be there when needed…but recently, he also started enjoying the moment when he realized that Ocelot was gone for the rest of the day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Submission for day 4 of Bosselot week: Song.

Staring at his old’s friends back as he stepped through the door, Snake listened to the clinking of Ocelot’s spurs echo down the hall. Every day, the Russian would come visit Snake and he honestly enjoyed the ability to have the other man to himself. He really did like Ocelot, could always count on him to be there when needed…but recently, he also started enjoying the moment when he realized that Ocelot was gone for the rest of the day.

Reaching to the bedside table next to his hospital bed, Snake opened the drawer and pulled out his cassette player, smiling widely in anticipation.

 

A few days ago, a nurse had come into his room to check on whatever the nurses checked on when they came in.

 _“How are you feeling today?”_ The nurse hadn’t really looked at him when she asked him, her focus being on some chart that hung on the front of his bed.

 _“I feel fine.”_ He had replied just like every other time she had come in and asked him how he felt, but today, he added something new. _“I’d like something to keep me occupied though.”_ She finally looked up at him at that, her eyes full of surprise, as if patients found lying in bed all day and night more than enough to keep them occupied.

 _“Oh! Of course. Anything in particular that you would like?”_ He thought about it for a moment before responding earnestly.

 _“A cassette tape would be cool.”_ His eye met hers and she smiled slightly, her head nodding minutely in agreement.

 _“Have a specific tape in mind?”_ …He did, but it pained him to say that he was…perhaps a little embarrassed by his preference in music.

 _“Uhh…well…do you have any…J-Pop?”_ Recalling a phrase that Kaz had taught him years ago, Snake was only slightly ashamed that he was a man in his forties and liked the sound of the Japanese women singing…even if he didn’t understand a word…it was catchy.

The nurse didn’t even laugh like he had expected, just nodded saying that she would see what she could do, before leaving him alone.

When she returned a few hours later, he turned his attention to her, trying to see if she had the cassette.

She had a book.

Frowning grumpily, Snake had shown that he was unhappy with what she brought. She giggled, walking over to his bed and placing the book on his bedside table.

 _“Figured that you could read something as well.”_ She pulled the cassette from her pocket, as well as a player and placed them on the book. He thanked her, pulling the cassette and player closer to him to look over his new toys overjoyed.

The sound of the tape whirring nearly made his heart skip happily, and as the singer hit her first note, Snake smiled widely. He didn’t know what the song was or who sang it, but it made him happy…so much so that he replayed the song over and over again.

Around eight in the morning, when Snake would awaken, he would withhold the urge to turn on the cassette player and listen to his song again…he didn’t want Ocelot walking in on him. Instead he read the book that the nurse had left for him. _Moby Dick…_

Snake didn’t really understand what was going on most of the time in the book…but he liked the names of the characters and the whale. He wondered what whale tasted like…

Ocelot walked in, an eyebrow quirking at the book in Snake’s hand.

“Wow, I didn’t know you could read.” Ocelot sounded amused, and Snake knew he was joking.

“Yeah, something I bet you wished you could do.” Snake shot back teasingly, making Ocelot snort and shake his head while he walked over to his normal chair by Snake’s bedside. Folding his coat over the back of the chair, Ocelot took his seat and glanced at the book.

“Moby Dick eh? Pretty decent book, especially at the end when Ishmael…” Ocelot started, his eyes twinkling in amusement as Snake glared at him.

“Shut up. I don’t want to know how it ends yet.” Frowning very pointedly at his friend, Snake shut the book, noting the page number before placing it down on the bedside table that hid his cassette player. Ocelot chuckled, raising one gloved hand to tuck a stray hair behind his ear before resting his hand in his own lap.

“How you feeling today Boss?” Giving him a questioning look, Ocelot asked him more as a way to gauge the level of seriousness the conversation was going to be able to advance. He didn’t want to overexert Snake’s energy by talking serious if the recently awaken man wasn’t ready to.

“Alright. Tired.” …so, he may not be all that tired, but he would rather not get too deep in politics and the on-goings of the world right then…and he may have stayed up late listening to his tape…

Ocelot stared at him seriously and Snake was struck with the notion that he may be thinking about talking with the nurses to check up on him and make sure that everything is alright with him.

“I just couldn’t get to sleep last night…the hospital ambience gives me the chills.” His expression lightening immensely, the Russian smiled at him fondly.

“Can’t say I like hospitals either.” Sitting back in his chair, Ocelot turned the conversation to a lighter topic, and Snake was glad that he dodged a bullet on that one. “You’ll get out of here soon enough…though knowing you, you’ll be back in as soon as you get out.” Ocelot’s eyes twinkled teasingly and Snake couldn’t help but snort, the man was certainly something else…and Snake had to say he was glad that it was him that was here with him right now.

“At least I still have my brown hair.” Quirking his lip in a smirk, Snake glanced at Ocelot out of the corner of his eye, his eye being drawn to the younger man’s now greyed hair. With a pointed frown on his face, Ocelot narrowed his eyes at Snake and crossed his arms across his chest almost petulantly.

“And what does that exactly mean Boss?” Oh, Snake knew that Ocelot knew, and he knew that Ocelot knew he knew…but he couldn’t help the obvious jab.

“Nothing. Why would you think that it meant something?” Playing coy, Snake stared at the other man with a grin on his face, trying to look as innocent as he possibly could for being a forty eight year old man.

Apparently, Ocelot wasn’t falling for his tactics. Cocking an eyebrow at him to let him know that he _knew_ exactly what that meant, the Russian shifted in his seat to sit more comfortably in the hard hospital issue chair.

“I’m going to assume that that wasn’t an obvious jab at the state of my hair and I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt.” Sighing as he settled back down into the chair, Snake couldn’t help but stare as he, once again, tried to come to terms that he had, in fact, been in a coma for nine years and missed Ocelot growing up from his rash, hot-tempered younger self, to this cool, calm and collected nine-year older self.

Snake sighed, his gaze dropping to the bed…he didn’t know what to say in response. Nine years was a long time to be gone…and he wished that he hadn’t been gone for so long. Noticing the shift in Snake’s mood, Ocelot leaned forward, grabbing his hand and squeezing it slightly.

“I guess it’s better that I have the grey hair…I don’t know what you would have done had you woken up and _you_ were the one with the grey hair…that would have been the hardest thing to deal with I think.” With a smile, Ocelot managed to lift up Snake’s mood and he cuffed the younger man on the head playfully.

“Yeah, the stupid thing is, I can’t call you _kid_ anymore…you technically are the same age as me now.” Tossing his head back in laughter, Ocelot leaned back to his original position, letting Snake’s hand go.

“Well, I guess there has been at least one upside to this whole thing then…” Ocelot paused, glancing to the window for a moment, before looking back to Snake and continuing, “…I hated it when you would call me that…” Going silent, Ocelot huffed almost unperceptively. Blinking at him in confusion, Snake reached his hand out towards Ocelot, attempting to grab his hand again. Ocelot turned his eyes to the offered hand, before looking up at Snake, his expression questioning. Shaking his hand to emphasize that he wanted Ocelot to grab it, Snake kept his eye on Ocelot’s face. Scooting the chair closer, Ocelot rested his hand in Snake’s, letting the other man pull his hand to his side.

“I never understood why you hated it…but…I think I may now.” Snake squeezed Ocelot’s hand, smiling as the other man squeezed back.

“Oh? Do I dare ask what your thinking is?” Cocking his head at Snake, Ocelot questioned rhetorically, though he was nervous to hear what Snake had to say.

Humming in thought, Snake grinned wildly, yanking Ocelot closer, the chair screeching on the floor as it slid across the tile.

“Actually, close your eyes first. I have a theory.” Looking at him incredulously, Ocelot chuckled unbelievingly at Snake, like he didn’t understand what the other man was getting up to.

“A theory? And why would that require me closing my eyes exactly?” He apparently wasn’t going to just listen…but then again, this was Ocelot. The man never seemed to listen to anything that anyone told him to do…other than his mother apparently. All those years ago, Ocelot had promised to protect Snake and he had done wonderfully to his best ability.

“Just do it.” Summoning up his best Bossly voice, Snake tried to make it known that what he said was what he wanted. After a few moments of staring back at him in shock, Ocelot huffed and slid his eyes shut. “And keep them shut until I tell you. I don’t care if the fire alarm goes off…keep them shut.” Ocelot snorted, and Snake’s lip quirked up in a fond smile before he started to try to sit up as much as he could.

Keeping his eye on Ocelot’s face to make sure the man actually had his eyes shut and wasn’t trying to peek, Snake pushed himself up on his free elbow. Once he was seated upright, he watched Ocelot’s face for a moment and he smirked when he saw how it twitched in a mixture of annoyance and curiosity. He knew that Ocelot could tell he was sitting all the way up, and he was probably wondering what the hell Snake was up to, and Snake knew from experience that Ocelot despised not being in control of the situations he found himself him…so the fact that he let Snake take over control was something special.

Ocelot was still seated in his chair, though his torso was leaning slightly towards the bed that Snake was sitting in, but not close enough that Snake could reach him. Pulling on his arm to drag him nearer to the bed, Snake withheld his laughter as Ocelot nearly stumbled from the chair to the bed, his free hand shooting out to search blindly for the bed before he fell to the ground. Of course, Snake wouldn’t have let him fall, but Ocelot may not have known that. Snake was impressed that Ocelot actually kept his word and hadn’t opened his eyes even in his slight moment of panic.

Now that Ocelot was close enough to Snake, he was ready to test his theory. Bringing his other hand up to grab the back of Ocelot’s neck and pull him even closer, Snake could feel how tense the other man had gotten. Crushing their lips together, Snake watched as Ocelot’s eyes flew open in surprise, searching Snake’s face for a sign as to what the hell was going on. Not letting the other man away, he teased Ocelot’s bottom lip with his tongue, moaning as he opened his mouth to let Snake shove his tongue into his mouth. Ocelot’s eyes fluttered shut again as he really started kissing Snake back earnestly. Snake let his own eye shut and just enjoyed the sensory overload that he was experiencing. Pulling back to get some air into his lungs, Snake smirked at how flustered Ocelot had gotten.

“I think I’ve proven my theory.” Gloating slightly, Snake smiled fondly at the blushing Russian, who grinned almost dorkily back at him.

Clearing his throat before talking, Ocelot licked his lips, enjoying the lingering taste of Snake on them. “And what exactly was this theory?” Shifting his chair even closer to the bed so that his knees pressed against the side of the mattress, Ocelot rubbed his knuckles over Snake’s cheek softly.

“That you love me.” Ocelot snapped his hand back as if Snake’s face suddenly burned him, and Snake narrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“W…What?” Eyes wide in shock, Ocelot tugged his hand away from Snake’s hold, who frowned in confusion.

“What?” Snake parroted back, emphasizing his confusion at the way that Ocelot was acting suddenly. The chair scraping against the tiled floor as Ocelot stood up and away from Snake, Snake blinked in surprise and Ocelot walked over to the window, his arms crossed over his chest. “Ocelot…come here.” Reaching his hand out to the other man as a white flag, he frowned when Ocelot didn’t even look over at him.

They stayed silent, the only sounds in the room were the heart monitor for the patient sharing the room with Snake. He wasn’t sure what he had done to piss the younger man off this time, but he knew that, with a little time, Ocelot would get over it and come back over. He dropped his hand and just stared at his friend…took in how different he looked. He definitely had grown in the nine years that he was in a coma, and Snake couldn’t deny that he was attractive…he always had been attractive, but Snake hadn’t even realized that men could be in a relationship until he had met Kazuhira Miller…then the other man had let know that there were multiple ways to categorize your sexuality.

“At least you proved your theory…I should get going.” Ocelot turned away from the window, and without even glancing at Snake, started walking towards the door. His heart nearly skipping a beat in panic, Snake quickly thought of a way to try to get him to stay, he didn’t want Ocelot leaving him like this…he still didn’t know what he had done wrong.

“It isn’t a bad thing you know.” Blurting out the first thing that came to mind, Snake hoped it was enough to make Ocelot stay. He paused, turning his face to look at him out the corner of one eye. “I…I just hadn’t been aware of…relationships between men, so I hadn’t even thought that you were attracted to me nine years ago…but I was thinking about it earlier and I wanted to test out…my theory.” He went silent, his eye boring into Ocelot’s eye pleading him to stay. The other man sighed, turning around to face him and walked over to his chair, sitting down with a huff.

“So…you aren’t…trying to make fun of me then?” Ocelot looked almost ashamed of how he had reacted, but Snake had only been able to pick up on the slight expression change because he had known Ocelot so well before…anyone else wouldn’t had seen any difference.

“Why would I?” Asking him almost offended, Snake relaxed his expression as Ocelot sighed, leaning back in the chair and looking to the side.

“You wouldn’t have been the first one to do so.” Reaching his hand out to Ocelot, silently telling him he wanted his hand back, Snake wanted to ask him about these other people that Ocelot was talking about, but didn’t…he knew if Ocelot wanted to tell him about his past, he would…otherwise he would just be prying. Turning his attention back to the offered hand, he hesitated momentarily before grabbing the hand, letting Snake hold his hand and lace his fingers through his own.

“You know that I wouldn’t do that.” Breaking the nearly five minute silence that had followed Ocelot’s previous comment, the elder man searched the younger’s face for an acknowledgement.

“I know.” Sighing, Ocelot raised Snake’s hand up to his lips to kiss the back of his hand in apology. They sat in silence for a while longer before Ocelot suddenly stood up, releasing Snake’s hand with a final squeeze. “I should let you get back to your book so you can find out that Ishmael…” Swatting the pillow out of the air before it hit his face as it was intended to, Ocelot laughed, slipping back into his normal personality, making Snake grin happily. “Alright…alright, I won’t tell you what happens.” With a smirk on his face, Ocelot walked around the bed, getting ready to leave.

“What? No goodbye kiss?” Snake grumbled teasingly, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. Ocelot came around the bed, leaning forwards to press his lips against Snake’s, who eagerly kissed him in return. Stepping away, Ocelot flicked his wrists in his signature hand gesture, a gesture that Snake returned, causing Ocelot to snort in amusement and roll his eyes good-naturedly.

Staring at his old’s friends back as he stepped through the door, Snake listened to the clinking of Ocelot’s spurs echo down the hall. Reaching to the bedside table next to his hospital bed, Snake opened the drawer and pulled out his cassette player, smiling widely in anticipation. Now that Ocelot was gone, he could listen to his tape again without a worry of him walking in on him listening to the tape.

Moby Dick could wait.

Clicking the play button, he shimmied in his bed along to the beat of the music, humming along to the tune that he was sure was now engrained into his very being from listening to this song so much. Setting the player on the bedside table, Snake grinned as the song hit the chorus, unaware of the clinking of spurs returning.

 

^^^

 

With a grin on his face, Ocelot left Snake alone for the day. A bounce in his step, the thirty nine year old reached the elevator, stretching his hand out to push the call elevator button when he paused. He blinked in surprise as he realized that he didn’t have his coat. He knew that he had brought the coat since it had been drizzling when he had left his apartment to come to hospital.

 _Must have left it in John’s room_ …

Turning back, Ocelot retraced his steps back to retrieve his coat…he could leave it with Snake, after all, he knew that it would be there when he came back tomorrow…but he didn’t want to chance losing it.

As he neared Snake’s room again, he heard a curious noise… _music?_

Not any music though…that crap that Miller always seemed to play when he was working on something. What was is that Miller said it was called? Japanese Pop?

With an amused smirk, Ocelot quietly stepped back into the room, leaning against a wall as he watched as Snake danced in his bed as much as he could in his condition. He honestly was surprised that Snake hadn’t already sensed his presence in the room. Wondering how long it would take Snake to realize that he was back, Ocelot stared at the brunet, his eyes sparkling in amusement.

 

^^^

 

Half of the cassette tape had been played through, and as Snake’s favorite song on the tape started up he shifted in his bed, his eye casting around the room quickly out of habit, his heart nearly stopping as he realized he wasn’t alone.

Snapping his eye back to the intruder, Snake met Ocelot’s amused gaze for a short moment before shooting his arm out to try to grab his cassette player and turn it off. Knocking it over on accident, he cursed before clicking the stop button, his heart racing and his face burning in embarrassment.

Why was he here? He had never returned after leaving until the next day…

“Didn’t mean to spoil your fun.” With a clink of his spurs, Ocelot walked around the bed to where his chair still stood…with his coat that was draped over the back. Snake frowned at the brown duster coat, wondering why the hell he hadn’t noticed it there before.

 “Wasn’t aware you liked Japanese Pop.” With a teasing smile, Ocelot glanced at Snake as he picked up his coat and flipped it over his shoulders and slid his arms into it.

Snake just frowned at him, his face still burning.

“That why you like Miller?” Snake blinked in confusion…he still found it strange that both of his closest friends had met while he was in his coma. “Hoping he’ll serenade you in Japanese?” He snorted at that, crossing his arms across his chest in annoyance. Ocelot chuckled, walking over to him and kissing him again, to which Snake relaxed, kissing him back. Pulling back to look into Ocelot’s eyes, Snake had just about forgotten his previous embarrassment. “Perhaps I should learn how to sing in Japanese…can’t have Miller stealing you from me.” Smacking Ocelot on his chest, Snake huffed at him, knowing that Ocelot hadn’t changed one bit in these past nine years when it came to teasing him. Kissing him once more, Ocelot winked at Snake before turning around to leave Snake alone again.

But of course, he couldn’t leave well enough alone…

Humming the tune that Snake had been listening to as he walked out of the room, Ocelot left the older man alone again.

Listening once again as the jangle of the other man’s spurs echoed down the hallway, Snake frowned in annoyance at the other man’s teasing, then smiled fondly. Even though the other man had been teasing him, Snake couldn’t believe that he was truly making fun of him…more like he was just enjoying embarrassing him about his poorly kept dirty little secret.

The worst thing about the whole thing…Snake recognized exactly what song he was humming…and it was three songs prior to the one that Snake had been listening to right before he had noticed that the younger man had been in the room…How he hadn’t noticed him sooner was beyond Snake…though…in hindsight, it meant that his instincts hadn’t seen Ocelot as a threat to his wellbeing.

And, perhaps, Ocelot didn’t really care about what Snake listened to…he really wasn’t the one to judge people…or at least, he wasn’t really the one to judge Snake.

 

The next day, he grinned widely as Ocelot placed three new J-Pop cassettes on his bedside table with a fond smirk and a wink.

Now, this was a man that was worth keeping around.

 

 


End file.
